Flying with the airlines isn’t generally funny business, but that’s not stopping Kulula from trying to put a smile on your face.

Humor isn’t always the first thing you think of when it comes to flying with the airlines, especially if you’re currently studying for your commercial at Upper Limit Aviation. It takes a lot of hard work and focus, but that doesn’t mean that once you do earn that commercial pilot license, you can’t have a little fun. But if you haven’t heard of Kulula Airlines, a regional airline flying in South Africa, then you might not realize that sometimes humor is the perfect traveling companion. Take, for example, the opening to a recent in-flight announcement from of the flight attendants:

“You know, Kulula has the best looking cabin crew in South Africa, but due to rostering problems none of them are on board with us.” ¹

Or this gem after landing at the airport for the city of Durban:

“Ladies and Gentleman, after that smooth landing, welcome to Durban, where the curry is hot. I’m [telling] you, you’ll enjoy it today, but tomorrow you’ll be doing handstands in the shower. If this is not where you want to be then you have some serious issues and I guess we’ll see you sooner than we thought.”

Or maybe this zinger upon arrival in Cape Town:

“If you need any assistance disembarking, sorry for you, help yourself…only kidding folks, we’ll ask one of the greasy engineers to come and assist you.”

Obviously, the crew at Kulula Airlines have a strong sense of humor. Kulula (drawn from the Nguni languages of Zulu and Xhosa with the meaning It’s easy)² was founded in July of 2001, and in August, they started serving South Africa as the country’s first ‘no-frills’ carrier. They weren’t interested in simply establishing a brand, but rather making it an affordable, complete travel experience. And over the past 16 years, though they have a modest fleet of 10 Boeing 737s (nine 737-800s, and one 737-400) and serve 6 destinations, their culture has attracted the attention of the world.

The world definitely took notice when these awesome pictures of two of their Boeing 737s with appropriately cheeky paint jobs started making the rounds.

Kulula’s humor isn’t limited to just the announcements, though. They also put a strong dose of humor into their advertising, ribbing rival airlines, spoofing pop culture, and crafting clever billboards like this one:

All in all, it sounds like Kulula isn’t just a fun airline to fly, it’s also a fun place to work. Becoming a commercial pilot with ULA will open doors into airlines everywhere, including those at Kulula. Here are some more gems from Kulula flights:

• On one flight, when passengers were having a hard time choosing seats (there are no assigned seats), a flight attendant announced: “People, people, we’re not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!“
• “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.“
• After landing, one flight attendant quipped “Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you’re going to leave anything, please make sure it’s something we’d like to have.“
• “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane.“
• “Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.“
• After the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport, a voice came on the loudspeaker: “Whoa, big fella. WHOA!“
• After a rough landing and flying through thunderstorms in the Karoo (a semi-arid desert region in South Africa), a flight attendant announced: “Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as heck everything has shifted.” (ULA trained pilots only have perfect landings, just ask!)
• “Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port Elizabeth. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised.“
• “In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite.“
• “Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines.“
• “Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.“
• “As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.“
• After a hard landing, a flight attendant came on, saying: “That was quite a bump and I know what y’all are thinking. I’m here to tell you it wasn’t the airline’s fault, it wasn’t the pilot’s fault, it wasn’t the flight attendant’s fault, it was the asphalt.“
• After a windy, bumpy ride into Cape Town, including a particularly hard landing, the flight attendant said “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the Captain taxis what’s left of our airplane to the gate!“
• Another less than perfect landing earned this jab: “We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.“
• After another very hard landing, the pilot stood at the door as passengers exited, thanking them for flying the airline and smiling at them, as company policy required. However, he had a hard time looking them in the eye, fearful that after the hard landing, he’d earned a smart comment or two. Finally, everyone but an old lady walking with a cane had exited the plane. She stopped and asked the pilot, “Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?” “Why, no Ma’am,” he replied. “What is it?” To which the little old lady said, “Did we land, or were we shot down?“
• “Please pay attention to the safety announcement, because you will be writing a test shortly.“
• “You could be fined up to R7999 for smoking on the plane, and for these prices, you could be flying SAA.“
• “We’d like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you’ll think of Kulula Airways.“

If you’re interested in punching holes in the sky and having this much fun flying commercial, complete your flight training with Upper Limit Aviation. Our commercial pilots are exquisitely trained and ready to fly left-seat for any airline out there.

Get Started With Your Flight Training Today

You can get started today by filling out our online application. If you would like more information, you can call us at 801-596-7722, or click here to start a live chat with us.

References and Sources:

1 – Kulula Humour, South Africa TO, Retrieved 7-12-17

2 – kulula.com, Wikipedia, Retrieved 7-12-17

Starting off as a commercial airline pilot is no easy task.

Jennifer Roth

To anyone on the outside of aviation, the life of an airline pilot sounds exciting and luxurious. However, that is just not the case, especially in the early years of a pilot’s career. Typically when a pilot begins their career in the airline world, they are probably carrying a load of student loans and surviving as best they can. And considering regional airline pay can start as little as $22,000 a year, it can be difficult for a person to afford much. Commuting, crash pads, time away from home as well as sitting reserve and allotted benefits from the airlines all affect the quality of life for a commercial airline pilot.

Commuting

With any job, commuting is difficult. The longer the commute, the more exhausting and draining it can be on a person. With commercial airline pilots, commuting will most likely be a part of life, at one time or another. Unless a person lives in a major city such as Los Angeles, Houston, Dallas, Atlanta, and so on, they will more than likely commute. And many times, even if they are living in a major city, they may not be able to have that city be their home base for a while so they will still be required to commute. Commuting can be difficult for a pilot regardless of their experience, but especially for a newer pilot who does not make a lot of money. Salary only includes scheduled flight time, so for a person who has to commute, that does not include the time they put in getting to the airport, making a flight and arriving at the location their actual scheduled flight will start. Weather also affects the ability of a commuter to get to their starting destination on time. If there is any weather at any point between where they live and where they work, it can cause a chain of events preventing them from making it there on time. Because of this, the pilot may have to commute a day early to prevent missing their scheduled flights. This is unpaid time and adds time to their trip as well as stress.

Commercial Airline Pilot Crash Pads

^{Photo courtesy of ABC News}

If a person is commuting to a different city than where they live, they most likely will have to have a place to stay. Hotel bills can add up and, as mentioned, the starting salary of a commercial airline pilot is not much. Enter the “crash pad,” a term that pilots know well. It can be anything from a hotel room with multiple bunk beds, to an apartment with bunk beds in every room. This not so ideal living situation allows the commuter to pay a monthly fee anywhere from 50 to 100 dollars, depending on the living quarters, and it will provide a bed for them to sleep in. It is not ideal in the sense that you may not always have a bed (depending on how many pilots are there at the time) or you may be sleeping when other people are in and out, or your bed may be in a closet. This does, however, allow for an affordable alternative while stuck in the city and trying to get home. Many people have to rely on this to have a place to stay when either sitting reserve or stuck due to weather or maintenance issues.

Other pilots, or someone within the aviation industry such as a flight attendant, usually establishes crash pads. This is beneficial because these are the people who have had to rely on them, so they know what is needed as far as space, location and price. Without crash pads, pilots would be forced to either pay for expensive hotel rooms or sleep in crew rooms at airports. Pilots can usually find information about crash pads on airline forum boards, crew rooms, or even just word of mouth from other pilots.

The Commercial Airline Pilot’s Schedule and Time Away From Home

The airline’s totem pole also affects the pilot’s line. A line is their schedule for the month; usually, a new hire will have to sit reserve. So many times they only have a 2-hour call-out if they will be flying. For commuters, this means that on their days to fly they have to be in that city, so it is often the pilot who depends on the crash pads. Sitting reserve is difficult even if the pilot lives in the city they are based in. They may be home but they cannot really make plans because they have to be on call whenever they are on duty. As they increase in seniority, they are able to hold a line and therefore can plan their time off or time away more accurately. Reserve, unless specifically requested by a pilot, usually occurs for new hires if they have plenty of pilots to fly lines, and then again once they upgrade to captain. They fall back down the totem pole for the captain position and may have to sit reserve again depending on how many pilots they have working or their seniority number at that point.

Time away from home is the time that is spent working but not necessarily flying. Sometimes a person may have a flight but once they arrive at their destination, can have a 22-hour sit, or layover. On occasion, this can be fun for a pilot, giving them a chance to see and explore the city they are in. But many pilots have families and time away is difficult, and when they are not getting paid for those hours being away from home, it can be frustrating. Also, a 22-hour sit in Fargo, North Dakota may not have the same excitement that San Diego, California, would. So time away is not always fun for a pilot. Many experiences have shown that a pilot can be gone many days but only accrue a small amount of paid hours to bring home.

Because of this, as many pilots gain in seniority and no longer have to fly reserve, they work towards moving to the base of their choice, which allows them to use their own home instead of a crash pad or hotel, leading to a better quality of life.

In Conclusion

Now, with all this being said, there are many benefits to being a commercial airline pilot. The office view really doesn’t get better than the one they have. From mountains to oceans, farmland, forests, mountains, gorgeous clouds and sunsets, pilots often have amazing picture worthy days. They also have the benefit of flying free. If a seat is available, they can jump on almost any airline to any destination that airline flies to, whether in the US or overseas, such as Europe. They can also have these benefits extend to certain family members as well, so they can often travel with their spouse, children, and / or parents. And not many people get the opportunity to see as much of the United States as pilots do. Finally, as a pilot advances in their career, their pay does go up, especially as they transition from flying with regionals to major airlines. Many commercial airline pilots are able to very comfortably retire after a career with the airlines. And even with all of the struggles, it is a proud accomplishment for a person to say, “I am a pilot”.

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Airline careers necessitate long hours of crushing boredom punctuated by short periods of intensity. The unique demands placed on airline pilots, crewmembers and mechanics can be met with lifestyle and attitude adjustments.

Noah Timmins

Aviation distinguishes itself from other industries as one that eschews the traditional “nine to five”, “clock in, clock out” work schedule. The unique nature of air travel refuses to play nice with normal concepts of schedules, routines, or habits. In order to accept a career with the airlines, one must have an understanding of the real demands of airline careers.

The penultimate goal of aviation is to ferry passengers and cargo from one location to another in a manner both safe and efficient. Achieving this goal takes superhuman effort from a broad range of people involved in the successful launch of an aircraft. Let us take a snapshot of the demands placed upon people in three rungs of the aviation ladder: maintenance, dispatch, and carriage.

Airline Careers For Mechanics

Airline mechanics must keep aircraft safe for flight. Strict regulations require extensive documentation and procedure control, lengthening the time mechanics must spend on each maintenance operation. Unfortunately, an aircraft grounded due to maintenance earns no money, requiring mechanics to work quickly. These two aspects come together forcefully, causing mechanics to work long hours, under stress from airline owners. Additionally, mechanics have no room to make mistakes, as one mistake in maintenance can quickly snowball into the loss of hundreds of lives.

One small omission of a sheet metal repair once caused the death of 520 souls. When Japan Airlines Flight 123 encountered a tail strike incident in 1977, the damage was repaired by installing a new piece of metal over the affected area and the plane was declared airworthy. In 1984, that same section of the tail cone underwent explosive decompression, destroying a piece of the tail, and sending the aircraft into an uncontrollable state. It crashed into the ground, killing 520 people of the 524 on board. This is the deadliest single-aircraft accident in aviation history and the second deadliest behind the Tenerife disaster.

The root cause was a single small step being omitted in the repair process. One person missed one thing, and 520 people died. This kind of stress is placed on mechanics daily: extensive paperwork documentation required by the FAA attempts to counter these incidents. At the end of the day, however, mechanics must maintain strict vigilance, operating one-hundred percent perfectly under the stress of timetables. Joining an aviation career as a mechanic is a daunting step and not to be taken lightly.

Airline Careers For Dispatchers

Aircraft must not just be airworthy, but also, be flight ready. This falls under the authority of aircraft dispatchers. In terms of airline careers, dispatchers are responsible for organizing and planning flights for an airline. They must keep track of thousands of different things: aircraft maintenance status, patterns of weather, availability of food and fuel, assignment of personnel, and management of aircraft flight times. These people form the backbone of organization for an airline, keeping planes on schedule and ensuring that the carriage of people and cargo is both safe and efficient.

Dispatchers also suffer from the pressure of financial accountability: they solely are responsible for aircraft arriving and departing from airports at specific times, thus, they control the revenue stream for airlines on the ground. Without dispatchers, no airlines would able to maintain a set schedule with fully stocked aircraft and up-to-date maintenance.

Offices for flight dispatchers are hectic environments. American Airlines employs over 1,600 dispatchers at their Forth Worth control center, all working in the same huge room. People scurry about, constantly busy, ensuring that all the stars align for successful aircraft launches. Tickers and charts dot the walls, like a scene from the New York Stock Exchange.

Like the exchange, things can change at the drop of a hat. A plane might suddenly develop a maintenance issue, or an airline servicing cart might be running late. Dispatchers must be able to find a way to solve this problem, without even having minutes to spare: customers will often be sitting in the plane, on the tarmac, impatiently waiting for takeoff. Their enjoyment of the entire process – and thus their opinion of the airline – could change right at this moment. Dispatchers do not have the luxury of time on their side, thus, they must develop a sense of urgency in their job.

However, dispatchers must also not make mistakes. Like the mechanics, a simple error can lead to a major catastrophe. UPS Flight 1354 into Birmingham, Alabama, flew into the ground in 2013, impacting terrain short of the runway, destroying the airplane. The plane was perfectly airworthy, the pilots were fit for duty, and there was no inclement weather. The issue? Dispatchers sent the airplane to the airport for an instrument flight rules landing, even though the instrument landing system at the airport was inoperative. Effectively, this required the pilots to hand-fly the airplane in for a landing, something they had not planned for due to the mistake made way back at the dispatcher’s office.

This little break in the normal chain of an aircraft landing was enough to push the pilots outside of their comfort and ability zone, causing a further breakdown of situational control, and ultimately leading to the loss of both pilots’ lives and the airframe. All this due to the simple error of one person missing a line in the airport status information panel halfway across the country. The slightest little mistake could quickly snowball out of control, bringing down an airplane and – worse – its load of passengers. This is one of the hardest adjustments to make when pursuing a career in aviation: adopting the mindset required to take the grave responsibility of ferrying people through the air.

Airline Careers for Pilots

Lastly, the pilots. Pilots are the ultimate end-all be-all of safe flight. They are the ones in command of the aircraft from when the wheels leave the tarmac until the inevitable return to ground. Pilots form the “last line” of defense against human mistakes and mechanical errors. This puts them in the most important position of an airline, in terms of having the ultimate responsibility for the safe carriage of passengers. Airline careers as a pilot are a solemn undertaking not for the faint hearted.

Everything a pilot does is regimented to the final letter. Every procedure has a physical checklist called out for it, describing the process required and spelling out each step individually. The presence of both a captain and a first officer ensures that a “call and response” style of completing checklists is accomplished on the flight deck. The first officer will call a requirement, such as “Flaps to fifteen degrees”, to which the captain will comply with, then respond with “Flaps, fifteen”. This process ensures that each checklist operation is completed without any possible errors, and has proven its track record: flying through the air is the safest form of travel today.

This small glimpse into the pilots’ routine in the cockpit highlights the importance of each decision the pilot makes. Moving the incorrect switch in the cockpit could put a plane into a situation that requires an emergency landing or becomes unrecoverable. The famous Air France Flight 447 accident over the Atlantic Ocean in 2009 puts this in perspective: the airspeed indication devices of the aircraft became filled with debris, giving the pilots no indication of the speed of the aircraft. This caused the autopilot – responsible for maintaining level flight – to disengage, causing the aircraft to roll right. The pilot, noticing this, grabbed the control stick and wrenched it left in an effort to bring the aircraft level. However, this control input was actually an over-control input, which dragged the aircraft too far into a left roll, causing an aerodynamic stall and the subsequent loss of life and the airframe.

Effectively, the pilot panicked.

This quality is exactly why airlines put such a strict regulation into flight deck management. Pilot training is a 3,000 hour ordeal of managing the flight deck of an airplane. A large portion of this is spent learning how to make decisions. With the control stick in the left hand, the throttle in the right, and 100 souls on board, a pilot’s decision in flight is something that is not taken lightly.

Learning how to fly a plane is a deceptively simple task. Any person can consistently hit the 1000-foot marker on the runway during an instrument landing in a deadly crosswind. All that requires is skill, and skill can be learned. Spending 3,000 hours flying commercial aircraft will give a pilot that skill. The difficult part about piloting is the part that can only be learned and cannot be taught: being a decisive person. The decisions made on the flight deck of an aircraft are the penultimate example of swift thought and swift action.

Captain Sully’s actions during the famous Miracle on the Hudson are a prime example of the character demanded of pilots. US Airways flight 1549 impacted a fleet of birds shortly after takeoff from LaGuardia airport. Both engines of the aircraft immediately lost power. The first officer grabbed the emergency checklist for engine restart – the proper decision – while Captain Sully immediately grabbed the controls, ready to input commands. Unfortunately, due to the nature of the New York City layout, a suitable diversion was unavailable, due to the low altitude of the aircraft. Realizing this, Sully announced to the air traffic controllers that he would attempt to land on the Hudson river. Landing an aircraft successfully on water was considered practically impossible, making Captain Sully’s decision seem poor.

Photo by: Greg L

However, Sully had made his decision. He could have attempted to divert to a possible airport, or attempted to land on a highway, but he had already laid his cards on the table. All of this decision-making occurred over a period less than two minutes. Sully’s approach to the river was cleverly placed: he avoided the cross-river bridges and brought the aircraft down near ferry terminals. The aircraft impacted the water with the aft fuselage – not the engines – resulting in a hard but safe landing. Recovery was successful, with no loss of lives. The NTSB praised Sully, calling it the most successful ditching in airline history.

Captain Sully had a remarkable level of skill at piloting aircraft, being professionally glider trained. More importantly, however, he displayed exceptional decision-making ability. Several alternatives presented themselves. He could not turn around to LaGuardia, he was too slow to make the turn. He could not continue on to New Jersey, he was too low in the sky. He could not land on the highway, it was too far away. His only option was the river, but it was a bad option. Nonetheless, his decisive action brought him to follow-through with his less than optimal decision, saving the lives of hundreds of people.

In Conclusion

Incidents like that highlight the necessity of decision making. This alone will be the hardest step in accepting airline careers. Mechanics, dispatchers, and pilots all face decisions daily that could have disastrous results if performed poorly. However, strict training and attention to detail, combined with the proper attitude of responsibility, will ensure that people depart and arrive safe and on time. This attitude takes time to develop and comes with experience. In the end, the feelings of successfully delivering people is well worth the effort.

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^{Featured Image: Enrique}